INTRO

               Rock music begins as clips of activity on campus and various
               scenes around Providence. Narrator begins:

                                   NARRATOR
                         Eight kids living above and under
                         one another for eight months.

               Between interviews each has individual session

                                   SCOOTER
                         This would have NEVER happened in
                         Michigan.

                                   GINA
                         She thinks she can just- barge in
                         my room and take my vibrator!?

                                   JOSH
                         ...Those things-- On top of Angel
                         heads-- Look like Sonic the
                         Hedgehog rings--

                                   NARRATOR
                         Twenty differences and
                         personalities clashing together
                         like the Titans trapped by Zeus,
                         the Greek god who throws lightning
                         bolts and beats his wife.

                                   JOHN
                         Honestly-- Who here can say they've
                         ordered a prostitute?-- (raises
                         hand) I know i have-

                                   ALLIE
                         I LOVE Bob Newhart.

                                   CHRIS
                         I have a sixth sense for how long
                         relationships last. You- how long
                         have you been married- (guy off
                         screen- "Me?") Yeah- ("6 years") I
                         give it 9 months.

                                   ALLIE
                         -- and relish.

                                   KRISTEN
                         I hate Allie.

                                   NARRATOR
                         They have been brought together to
                         prove Music Television does not
                         exist anymore and to make
                         teenagers, like you, more retarded
                         and homo-accepting.

                                   EMILY
                         I wish I could fly... Not a Peter
                         Pan kind of fly-- Or Superman...
                         More like... Seagull.

                                   PATRICK
                         I'm not gay ("yes you-") Who keeps
                         fucking saying I'm gay! ("well, we
                         need-") I don't care what you
                         fucking need, stop televising I'm
                         gay!

                                   GINA
                         Welcome to the Real World

                                   EMILY
                         The Real World

                                   JOSH
                         Real Word

                                   SCOOTER
                         RIC.

               END INTRO